Dating Again as a Single, Separated Mother: What No One Tells You

Dating again after separation isn't just about finding someone new—it's about rediscovering yourself. 

As a single mother, you’re not just managing your heart, but also your time, energy, emotions, and the emotional safety of your children.  In this post, I’m sharing what it really feels like to reenter the dating world as a solo parent—and why it’s okay to feel messy, hopeful, exhausted, and excited, sometimes all at once.  The truth is, no one really tells you or can properly prepare you for how complex and confusing it can feel or how much courage is needed to try again, but I’m going to try, so that you don’t feel as alone as I did.  Just consider me your online dating BFF! 

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When I first considered dating again, I felt torn. I worried about so many things, that in hindsight didn’t really matter!  It was a constant carousal of feelings, everything from thoughts of judgment from others and from myself, to debating whether there were “any good men left” and if the “agony” of online dating was worth putting myself out there again! 

I didn’t know how to balance vulnerability with boundaries, hope with realism. And yet, underneath the fear was a quiet, persistent longing: to feel chosen, seen, desired—not just as a mother, but as a woman.  Your heart’s wishes matter and it’s important to remember that you deserve them all!  

Online dating as a separated or divorced single mom comes with layers—scheduling around school pick-ups, explaining your story (or not), navigating vulnerability, and learning to trust again.  This chapter is about finding yourself again. It’s about understanding what you need now that you're different. You’re not who you were before the marriage. You’re wiser. You’re braver. You’ve seen love, loss, and real life up close.

If you’re in this space, take your time.  You’re allowed to want love again—and to want it on your terms. You're not “baggage.” You're a whole woman with a story, with strength, with love to give. And the right person won’t be intimidated by your past—they’ll be inspired by how you’ve risen from it.

Dating after separation is not a return to who you were before, it’s an introduction to who you’ve become. It can be a carousal of feelings. But one thing I know for sure is that the only way to give yourself a chance at finding the love you know you deserve is to get on the ride.  To embrace the journey, as messy as it can be.  To heal, to grow, to accept the disappointment but meet it with a greater sense of hope.  Give yourself permission to be new at it. To ask for support. To own your story—and your right to love again.